High-Low

After deciding that I wanted to make this a weekly feature on my blog, I promptly missed the subsequent week. Typical. Here we are, day one of a new week and a new year. With that in mind, here is to being more consistent. Maybe. I guess.

High workout: Last night's Fairfax Four Mile performance. I had zero expectations for the race because I was so unsure about my leg. Turns out that a combination of rest and binge eating was what the doctor ordered because I PRed by over a minute from last year's time.

Low workout:  Tuesday's attempt at a treadmill run. 1.5 painful miles that ended in public crying on a spin bike. Definitely not my finest hour.

High emotional moment: Is it bad if I don't really have one? I mean, the week wasn't a tough one by any means but aside from the artificial highs experienced thanks to the ridiculous amount of delicious food I ate, I can't think of any particularly special moment. Sometimes life is just like that. 

Low emotional moment: If forced to admit it, I'd tell you that I'm not a huge fan of me. And I haven't been for a long time but I'm working on it. Never was this problem more apparent then while I was on my own in Florida for two days. Aside from a trip to an ashram a few years ago I have never traveled alone. I didn't avoid it but I didn't actively pursue it either. Being on this trip reminded me that I barely know who I am, what I like, and what it is like to be with myself. The thoughts and judgments that come up. How sad it is, truly, to not love yourself and enjoy just being you? In fact, I actively avoid too much unscheduled time alone because of the thoughts and feelings that come up. Add this to the list of things I'm working on because I do want it that to change. Truly, I do.

And just so this post doesn't end on a low note, I got in four miles today to start the new year. I was sore from yesterday and some of the pain was back but it doesn't matter because I got out there. I hit the grocery store as well, stocking up for the week to come.  All the junk is gone from my kitchen and I'm looking forward to weighing in tomorrow at the gym so I know how much work I have cut out for me. I just want to fit into my clothes again. I'm excited enough about my racing goals for this year that the challenge of losing weight in the process doesn't seem so daunting. Taking care of my body is only going to make me a better runner and that is all I want.

Happy New Year!