High-Low

Happy Sunday, everyone! I hope you've had a great weekend. I've got one more day left to mine, but please don't hate. While I kick back and watch the Yankees on this beautiful afternoon, please enjoy this week's installment of High-Low.

Emotional High:
I am not sure I can pinpoint one moment this week. It was more about a series of choices I made over the course of several days that I can be proud of. There were ample opportunities to let others influence my emotions and to let those emotions control me. What was different, for once, was that I put my foot down. I made the choice not to let someone make me feel like less than what I am. I refused to enter a difficult situation letting someone else's emotions set the stage for the encounter. This is brand new territory for me.  I usually give my emotions free rein and then wallow in the aftermath, wondering what went wrong. Bottom line, I'm tired of feeling terrible. I'm taking small steps to change that, and it doesn't happen overnight. I'll still have rough days, but I think I'll be able to roll with them better.

Workout High:
It wasn't the elusive good run that I'm looking for, but it was decent and I had super new company. Thanks to Team Tough Chik, DC-based Toughie Becky heard my plea on Facebook and agreed to join me for 10 miles on Saturday morning. It was my last long run before the half and I knew I didn't want to do it alone. Never having met before, conversation came easy. We headed out from Columbia Marina, up through Rosslyn, on the Custis Trail to Stafford Street and then back. The time wasn't spectacular but there was no walking and little pain, which made me pretty happy. I'm slowly getting my hydration figured out as well, so there was no panicky water stop like there was on my 12 the weekend before. The weather was beautiful, the company was great, and the hills were the right challenge. Thank you, Becky!

Emotional Low: 
This week's emotional low came while I waited for the 5k to start this morning. There was a 1 mile family fun run first, and I decided to watch everyone cross the finish. Moms and Dads, their little ones in tow, laughing and running towards the finish together. It had me in tears. It just bowled me over in that moment. All I could think about was relationships past, some more recent than others, and things that I probably won't get to have in this life. A little too heavy for a Sunday morning and not the mindset you want heading into a race.  It wasn't anything I could shake off right away, and it definitely weighed on me as I slogged through my own three miles. As soon as I got back to my car I reached out to a friend who would know exactly what I was talking about. Sure enough, she commiserated and tried to hold me up. I'm trying not to let it set the tone for the day, but sometimes you just have to be sad and that is okay too.

Workout Low: 
Today's Vienna "Run for Fun" 5k was anything but. I ran it on legs that were still feeling yesterday's hilly 10 miles. It just wasn't my morning but I knew showing up and running, no matter what, was the right thing to do. I was less than stoked about this before I registered, but did so because a friend really wanted to do it as a post-vacation kick in the butt. I knew I had a long run the day before but...I have trouble saying no and this is a friend that I have a hard time standing up to. Three days before the race she decides, from half-way around the world, to extend her vacation and bail on the race. So I was on my own for something I never wanted to do in the first place. But I made a commitment and paid my $25, so damn it I was going to go. The only good thing I can say is that in the long run it was a good exercise in running on tired legs. Something that I will need to get used to.  Otherwise, I was really unhappy. I started out too fast, sub-9, when I just wanted to crank out easy 10's like a wuss. The course was an out and back, but hilly-ish and my hamstrings were having none of it. I got progressively slower as the race went on, and I even broke my own rule of not walking. I finished in 28:29 and I'm pretty disappointed. I'm still waiting for that one good run to feel like I'm capable. The half is next Sunday and confidence is just plain low.  

Now, I brought you all down with those two lows, and I don't want to end this post like that. I'm already thinking ahead to my week, wondering where my new highs will come from. I get to see family and friends at home next weekend, which always makes me smile. As of this afternoon there are also no last minute trips to NYC on the docket either, which is a relief. I love getting out of the office, but the up and back in one day makes me really tired.

The Yanks just won, so I'm smiling. Time to make some dinner and perhaps treat myself to some froyo. I hope you all had a great weekend, looking forward to reading those race reports!