Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Pressing the pause button

I'm glad I decided to make dinner and sit down for a few minutes before I wrote this post. Had I done it as soon as I'd gotten home from the gym, you'd be reading something depressing and self-pitying. The long and the short of it is this.  I've been having some pain in my left leg since the tail-end of marathon training.  I took a considerable amount of time off running after the marathon and have been diving back into it these past couple of weeks. The leg pain has come back with a vengeance, culminating in a very bad run today.  I wasn't even one mile into it before I had to stop and stretch but as soon as I started up again the pain was right there.  I must have looked ridiculous, hopping on and off the treadmill belt several times until I finally stopped at 1.5 miles. Probably my shortest run ever.

More out of frustration than anything else, I cried my way over to the bike and through 5 miles before I decided it was best just to go home. You can in fact cry and bike at the same time, unlike running. The pain subsided on the bike and once I was a little calmer I sulked my way back to the car and home. I wish I knew what was wrong. My PT is a good friend but out of town until Saturday. I'm going to Florida for 2 days on Thursday and I see my plans to run along the beach disappearing. I am also registered to run a four mile race on New Years Eve, just a few days from now. Just the idea of not being able to run is really upsetting, even if it is only for a week or two. I'm frustrated by some recent weight gain and all I know is running to fight it. I feel like a considerable bit of my identity is wrapped up in running, so if I can't do it then who am I? Not a runner.

Rather than let my mind keep going down that path of self-doubt and self-loathing, I'm trying to just breathe. It might not be that bad. I took some Aleve, I'm icing and elevating.  There are other ways I can exercise and I can't eliminate them just because I do not enjoy them. Crosstraining is a definite weakness of mine and I should use this opportunity to keep moving in whatever manner I can. At least, that is what I am trying to convince myself of right now. There is still a large part of me that just wants to eat whatever I can get my hands on and wallow. I've been injured before and I don't want to experience that ever again. I don't like being out of control, not in the slightest. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and try a gentle run again tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me kids, hopefully this is nothing that some better stretching, foam rolling, or warming up can't cure.


  1. Stay optimistic! I had really bad knee troubles and saw a few doctors who told me I had runners knee and gave me some stretches. Nothing really helped much until I saw a massage therapist. It hurt like hell while he worked on it, but afterwards, I was as good as new! So, try a bunch of different solutions! :)

  2. I feel like I could have written this post. I have constant issues with shin splints these days, and it gets me DOWN! I do experience a loss of control like you mentioned. I try to cross-train when I'm injured (which seems like always for the past few months), but it is not the same! It sucks!

    One thing that makes me be more positive is thinking about how much worse it could be. I read a fellow blogger's post about a runner who has stage 4 cancer. I felt like such a wimp for being sad about my shin splints.

    I hope that your pain goes away! Trust me, I can completely sympathize!

  3. Aw, sorry to hear this. As long as it doesn't hurt, some long walks on the beach in the warm sunshine might just do the trio until you can address the real issue. Good luck!

  4. Praying this is nothing serious and it passes as quickly as it came on. Hang in there girl!

  5. I'm sorry to hear this! I hope it feels better with some more rest/ice/stretching and you can figure out what's going on when your PT gets back in town. In the meantime, enjoy your trip to Florida and some time in the sun!