Trail racing?

I might have just filed an application to do this.  It works well into my lung run schedule and gives me a chance to experience trail running for the first time.  I definitely won't be running it for time since the marathon is my goal and this will be my first trail run.  I don't know why I applied but it just sort of happened!  Maybe all this not running this week has gone to my brain.  I was looking for a half earlier in the summer to run and not having any luck (or, should I say, luck that didn't involve a registration fee more expensive than MCM).  The lucky part of this is that the application deadline is today, so I just got in.  I need to check back in a week or so to see if I got picked, and then take it from there.  Any NOVA people out there want to try and get in to run this with me?  I would love the company and a chance to meet and get to know some of my fellow local bloggers.  Lets do this!

Thanks to everyone who entered my giveaway yesterday.  Right now the odds of winning are really awesome so I encourage you to enter if you haven't done so already.  Just read the giveaway post and follow the commenting instructions! :)

YOU DID IT!

You fabulous people got me to 20 followers!  I'm so excited!  When I started writing this blog I didn't think anyone would read it except maybe my family (Hi Sis! Hi Mommy!).  And now I've met some amazing people and superfast runners.  You guys never fail to inspire me and support me, so thank you!  As promised, I am doing my first giveaway to celebrate hitting the big 2-0.  The best part is that the winner gets to choose their prize.  I've got a shiny $25 gift card to YOUR favorite coffee/fro yo/ice cream/running clothing/etc store. Starbucks, Yogurtland, Pinkberry, Runningchics, you name the place and it is yours!  All you need to do to enter is comment on this post, telling me where you'd want to spend your $25 and something you'd like to see me write a post about.  I'll talk about anything :) What? You want a 20 picture post of my cats?  DONE.  Ha ha! I'm thinking I'll give you all until Thursday July 7th to enter, and if someone can help me find and use the random number generator that the cool kids use when choosing a winner that would be awesome.  Seriously, hitting this little milestone means a lot and it is taking some of the suck out of being sick and unable to run today.  Love you guys!

Wordless Wednesday

Sickness supplies part 1: Giant coffee, orange juice, and a wad of toilet paper because I ran out of tissues.

Part 2: CHOCOLATE even though I can't taste it, cough drops, tea bags, and EmergenC

Part three: FOOD.  Fresh strawberries, shady microwave mac and cheese, snack mix, greek yogurt, and a banana.

GO AWAY COLD!

3TTuesday

1. When diving into a new venture, whether it be personal, professional, or academic, it is best to know what you're signing up for ahead of time. Do your homework. In my case, my grad class started last night.  It is during the summer session, so everything is a bit more compact than a regular semester.  All told it will be 11 nights of class.  3 nights a week, for 3 hours a night.  6 essays, 3 tests, 1 research paper and all the required reading.  Eh.....yeah.  I knew I was going to be a busy girl but yikes! Luckily band practice was cancelled for tonight because my first essay is due tomorrow and I wouldn't have had any other time to do it! I did a little reading when I got home last night and more on the bus this morning.  Probably bagging my lunch hour run today to do more reading (more on bagging the run to follow).  Learning to balance all this is going to be a great experience for me.  And I can do anything for four weeks, right?  Thank god Stacie helped me cook enough food last weekend to feed an army.  My freezer is stocked with dinners for the duration. Friends are awesome!

2. I'm now one of those special people who catches a summer cold.  What the hell!?  So, regardless of the demands of my class this week, should I go run today or not?  It is 90 degrees and humid.  I can't breathe through my nose but I don't have a fever.  I remember there being some kind of protocol to running when you have a cold.  Something about not doing it if it settled into your chest, which is not the case for me.  I just don't know which is more important, continuing to log miles before my next long run on Saturday or taking a day to rest and see if the cold is better tomorrow?  If I don't go today it will be my third rest day in a row. Not cool.  But my body could be telling me that I need the rest, hence the sickness. Honestly, I have no clue what to do and I'll listen to whatever advice you've got for me! 

3. I'm at 16 followers!  4 more until my first giveaway!  Seriously, thanks for following me.  I will love you forever if you give me a shout out on your blog and send more readers my way.  I might even give you extra entries into the giveaway if you do so. Once I figure out how you guys calculate entries and pick a winner, that is. :)  I'm really impressed by how many followers that my dear blog friends have accumulated and I welcome advice that anyone has to give about making my blog better. I definitely want to post more pictures, I'm just not sure what to post pictures of.  The last time I ran with my phone to take pictures I sweated so much that I broke the touch screen. Oops.

P.S. Why am I still so hungry despite having a cold? I can't even taste the damn food.  What a waste!

Weekend Recap

If you've noticed my absence in the past few days, I'm sorry!  If you didn't then just carry on.  Friday night was quiet, just dinner and a load of laundry before crashing early.  My long run Saturday morning was ok.  I definitely felt all 12 miles but I didn't walk a single step.  My hips were bothering me well before the halfway point but I kept on moving forward.  Having company cannot be underestimated.  We didn't talk too much but her presence was enough to keep me moving.  And I will say that my pride wouldn't let me walk with someone else around either.  Finished, at another incredibly slow time, and headed home.  I'm glad that I'm still moving forward and logging miles.  I'm trying to remind myself that these long runs, as long as they may take, are meant just to log time on my feet.  Time is irrelevant, and I should be running a bit slower than my usual pace on this runs.  Each mile that went past was another one that I mentally put into a mileage bank. The thought seemed to help and I felt a little less obsessive about when the next mile would be over. 
After a quick breakfast and a pot of coffee, I headed over to Joe's to meet Kris for an afternoon of girl time.   We headed over to Georgetown and started off with sushi and cocktails.  After a few mojitos we decided it was time for some shopping.  We had fun trying on overpriced fashion and I caved and bought a shirt at a boutique I can't afford for no good reason.  After a few more stops and purchases we hit up Sweet Green so I could get my fro-yo fix.  Fat, happy, and broke, we called it a day.  After a quick stop back at Joe's, he and I headed to Old Town for dinner.  The place we wanted to go to had a 30 minute wait and we were both starving (fro-yo? what fro-yo?) so we headed to a great backup restaurant, Las Tapas.  Dinner was delicious and we had just enough room left to stop at Alexandria Cupcake before heading home for the night.  I managed to stay awake through a movie (Jackass 3, hilarious) but then it was time for bed.
Sunday morning (almost afternoon, oops) started with me baking a coffee cake for the two of us.  One cup of coffee and 3 slices later I was ready to burst.  We decided to get out for a little bit before hibernating the rest of the day and took a walk around Clarendon, poking into stores and stopping to get gelato (aka lunch) on the way back.  Half the day having been slept or eaten away,  I took care of a few errands and headed home for the duration.  I made a point of doing a quick bit of grocery shopping today with the intent to restock what I am now calling my "runners pantry."  I've been a little upset that I haven't seen my happy weight in a while and with my running ramping up my appetite is jumping to join in.  In addition to getting marathon ready I would really like to get back to that happy weight.  Hence the runners pantry.  I made a mental list of safe and healthy foods that I can keep in the house or at work that will fuel my running and help with the weight loss.  Strawberries, bananas, a nut mix, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, frozen veggies, a few microwave meals (not that great, but easy for work and low cal), mini bagels, peanut butter, and granola bars.  At the very least this haul should get me through the week, combined with the meals that Stacie and I made last weekend.   Class starts tomorrow! Let the chaos begin :)
So, how was your weekend?  Do you have a few favorites that you like to stock in your runners pantry?  What else can I add to mine?  Wish me luck this week!

3TT!

1.  I really REALLY want to get to 20 followers and when I do I'm going to do my first giveaway!  So if you like reading my blog and want to get in on my first giveaway, please give me a shout out on your own blog and send me some new friends :)  I think 1 in 20 odds are pretty good in terms of winning a giveaway, right??

2.  The Universe always provides.  Granted, it might not always make sense at the time.  Heck, it might even frustrate you to no end.  But everything happens for a reason and good things always come in time.  What am I talking about?  The best non-interview coffee date ever for a position that doesn't even exist yet.  But it could, eventually, and I want to be the person that does it.  Vague enough for everybody? Good!

3. Pondering the idea of finding a specialist who does ART to help with my hamstring.  I don't think I re-injured it but have been having a little pain as my training has progressed. I'd rather nip it in the bud then run on it for a month like I did when I originally injured it.  Finding someone who does ART, lives in the area, takes my insurance, won't cost me a million dollars, and isn't being investigated by the FBI (yes, my last PT was a shady mo-fo who also didn't fully fix my hammy) is going to be an interesting challenge.  So will finding the time to see someone in the first place.  Between work, school, training, the band, etc I'm running out of hours in the day. Sleep is, apparently, for suckers.

Whatever Wednesday

No theme.  Just how I feel about today.  Put in a full day of work plus a little after hours socializing. Got in a run during the oppressive humidity this afternoon. Ew is all I have to say about that.  I left my watch at home these past two runs in the off chance that I ease up on myself a bit in regards to speed.  I'm pretty jealous, honestly, of how fast my fellow bloggers run.  And I know that in the end I control how I let those posted times make me feel.  I certainly do not begrudge my fellow runners their talent and successes.  I know how fickle running can be so I truly appreciate each person for their efforts and the awesome results.  I just can't stop myself from wanting to be faster and able to run farther.  For thinking those improvements would make me a "better" runner. Since I'm getting sick of being down on myself I decided to leave the damn watch at home.  I'll check out the distance after the fact but right now the last thing I need to be worrying about is time.  I'm still looking for that aha moment when running become fun again.   Maybe I'll have a break through moment on my long run this weekend.  I'll certainly have the time to obsess reflect on it during those 12 miles.

Right now I'm home in the comfortable air-conditioning of my living room, lying back on the finally fully paid for chaise lounge, and enjoying a glass of wine with these two monkeys:

One wants food. NOW.  Even though he was just fed.  The other is kneeding my stomach in hopes of lying down on me and completely impeding the blogging process.  Kids.  I'm going to spend the next 30 minutes or so before bed reading a bit, just me and "Running On Empty."  Perspective, here I come.

When in doubt, just show up.  That was my goal by the end of today.  I wasn't doing a very good job at being present today, no matter what I was doing.  Work, conference, meeting a friend, etc.  I just wasn't there and it showed.  As the day went on that disconnect was getting worse and I knew I had to get home.  Just being in my own space can help.  During the commute I fretted about whether I would run.  After missing this weekend's long run plans twice I was starting to freak out a little.  I went back and forth with myself about how missing a few days wasn't the worst thing in the world, that bagging a workout is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself.  But there was another part of me that said I should try out some of that advice I keep seeing in all my reading.  Just get out the door.  Just try it for 5 minutes.  If it still sucks, you tried. Bag it and try again tomorrow.  If it doesn't suck, see how far it can take you.  In the end, that new voice won me over.  I dropped my bag in the hallway, changed my clothes and went right back out the front door.  I didn't turn on the watch because the time wasn't going to matter.  I didn't want that kind of pressure, small as it was.  Heck, I didn't know how far I was going anyways, or even what direction.  I just headed for the main drag and went.  3.1 miles later I was home again, sweaty and a little less in a funk.  If it weren't for keeping daily mile updated, I wouldn't have checked the distance out either.  I just needed to be out there with my breath and my footfalls, halting and lumbering as they might be.
A quick dinner of goat cheese ravioli in my belly, I headed for one of my favorite spots, the tub.  I need to be up bright and early tomorrow, at the Hill by 7:45, so bedtime was fast approaching.  I grabbed the two things one needs to make a bath most enjoyable:

Wine and books.  You'll notice the streak of running-themed reads continues.  I'm almost through the Women's Running book and loving it.  It reminds me of Kara's book quite a bit, but in a really great way.  I love the material and I like that one seems to reinforce the great thoughts of the other without making either seem repetitive or stale.  Running on Empty is next, and I confess to already reading the first chapter *sob*.  If it continues to be as emotional as I've been told, I'm going to be investing in tissues.  Wine glass in hand, I'm now blogging from bed at 9:15, lights out any minute now.  Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday, I really appreciated it.  Just knowing someone out there is thinking of you and pulling for you can make a huge difference.  Here's to tomorrow being a new day, a fresh start, and another chance to show up.  G'night, friends.

Off days

Apologies for my absence, I don't like taking more than one day off from blogging.  It helps me feel connected to other people and gets my outside of my own head for a little while.  I haven't run since Thursday.  I took Friday off to rest before my long run on Saturday and that is also when I started to feel off.  Overtired, grumpy, sad, generally off.  A headache and that general malaise sent me to bed by 9 on Friday night.  My long run time was moved from 7 am to 6 am so I set my alarm for 4:30 and checked it over and over again to make sure I'd set it correctly.  I was actually looking forward to the course.  What actually happened was me sleeping really lightly, having weird dreams, and waking up at 9 to see I'd slept through it all.  In my obsessive checking of the damn clock I'd turned it off. I was not happy.  But I was also still exhausted so I slept for a few more hours, seeing as there was nothing I could do about the run at that point.  It ended up working out in the end, as I checked my email once I'd gotten up and seen that my run had been cancelled at 5 am due to thunder.  Nice break, right? 

I spent the day at a band meeting and then cooking up a storm with Stacie to stock my freezer once my grad class starts in 10 days.  The game plan became going to bed early, again, and getting up around 7 to do 10 miles on my own to make up for the canceled run.  Simple enough.  That ended up failing too because a migraine woke me up before my alarm did.  I couldn't even open my eyes, so I knew a simple footstep on the pavement would be excruciating.  Another run bites the dust.  I slept until noon and dragged myself to the couch for some meds and this.  I still feel off, migraine or not.  I'm frustrated that I missed a long run.  I haven't been eating right.  I don't feel entirely in control of my life right now and instead of stepping up to change that I tend to retreat into my own head and let someone else take the wheel.  I've only got a few hours today before I need to be at work tonight for my organization's yearly international conference.  This whole weekend just seems shot to shit and I'm not sure how to salvage it.  The place is a mess and the coming week leaves no time but now to take the reins and get something done. 

I'm not sure I'm going with this. No running in 4 days really disturbs me, both in fear of losing fitness and fear of gaining more weight.  I know both are hardly true but the thoughts still linger.  The urge to climb back into bed is strong, it is my last chance to catch up on sleep until next Sunday.  But I think that would do more harm than good.  Times like this I miss my mom, she is great at taking charge and getting things done. In short order I'd be in the shower, dressed, and helping her wash dishes.  Before I knew it the place would be clean and we'd have moved on to something fun.  Some days I can channel her and do a fairly decent job of it but not today.  Some days you just need to do the bare minimum to get through it and start over tomorrow.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Sometimes possibilities don't have to be scary.  Sometimes they mean hope.  And that is how I'm seeing it today.  If you made it through this, thank you for listening.  I promise I'll get to you back to your regularly scheduled blogging soon. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Workout Wednesday!

This was going to be a Wordless Wednesday post but I couldn't shame myself into posting pictures of my messy office and house.  Both of those locales are in dire need of some TLC and have been occupying my waking hours today.  I didn't make any progress on cleaning up my desk, but I've got two loads of laundry done.  They tumbled and dried while I ran back and forth to CVS twice and ran hill repeats.  Yup, you heard me.  I decided to be brave and try some hill repeats.  I didn't have to travel far, as I live at the top of a 300 yard hill. BONUS.  I ran a one mile warm up and then got down to business. 10 x 300 yard hill repeats with 300 yard recovery jogs back to the bottom of the hill.  I did the first 5 in 7:53 and the second 5 in 7:29.  I'm really impressed that I was able to run the hill faster in the second set of 5.  No breaks at all except the recovery jobs down the hill.  I decided to time them in two sets just to see how I would do as the repeats progressed.  I averaged 1:32 per repeat.  For some reason I had a hell of a time trying to calculate how far I actually ran, all told, so I'm giving up.  It isn't that important, I suppose.  Of course, if someone else wanted to try and do that for me,  I wouldn't stop them. I also couldn't find out what the grade on the hill was either, so if someone knows how to look that up online, I would be grateful. 

I'm interested to see how I feel tomorrow morning.  I expect that my legs would be a bit sore.  I can't remember the last time I did hill repeats.  I always charge the hill at the end of all my runs, just never over and over again, on purpose.  At any rate, its already after 9 and I feel like I have so much left that I wanted to take care of today.  Dexter is on in the background as I eat a late dinner, fresh baked bread smeared with goat cheese and topped with vegetarian buffalo wings.  Random, but delicious.  How was your day?  Did you get a good workout in? Do you like to multi-task your workouts, like I did with the laundry? I don't do it all the time but when I do I feel extra-productive.

Learn to love it

What am I talking about?  That part of your body that, no amount of running/cycling/swimming/weights/yoga etc, will change in regards to shape/size/fatty composition.  I'm going to go ahead here and assume that everyone has that part.  What I want to talk about is how to make peace with it.  I don't think it happens over night. Rather, it is a continual process of acceptance followed by reaffirmations of support when acceptance begins to slip.  For me?  My legs.  My weight has fluctuated in the past 5 years between 107 and 130 pounds and during that time my legs haven't changed a damn bit.  Even when I had my personal trainer. It was the one thing I was secretly hoping for after all that effort. I envy those long lean sexy runners legs that I see on every other female on the trail.  Instead, I will always be the person who looks like they have Christmas hams strapped to their thighs. For a long time I thought I'd settle for a least feeling proportional to my upper body which can really lean out as I increase mileage.  That isn't going to happen either, so acceptance is what is next.

I was out for a 4 mile run last night after work and the angle of the sun was completely distorting my shadow.  My gut response was less than positive, especially as I compared my shape and speed to the other runners out there with me, but then I decided that I was better off using that energy for something else.  Like coming up with new words to replace the usual suspects that I've used to describe my legs in the past.  Words like strong, and powerful.  I was at yoga last week and checked myself out in the mirror for the 100th time that day.  This time, however, I decided to tell myself that my legs are beautiful. Just to see if that made any difference in how I felt about myself in that moment. I watched how they worked to support the rest of my body as I flowed from one asana to the next.  My legs are no longer something to sigh and shake my head about. I really credit yoga for being able to get me to this realization.  It is the one thing in my life that makes me feel competent and beautiful.  If those legs of mine are doing yoga, well then they must be beautiful too.

This is definitely something that I need to keep working on.  I won't suddenly stop comparing my legs to those of others at my gym or out on the trails. But I have control over how I let those thoughts make me feel.  I know I'll never look right in skinny jeans.  My thighs are always going to rub together when I run.  But I can live with that. And I actually believe it now.

Do you have a part that you are learning to love or need to learn to love?  What are some ways you think you can accomplish this?  Got any other positive words or phrases to describe my legs or any other part that needs more love?

Weekend update

Hi all, I hope your weekend is going well!  I continue to sweat my butt off here but that will be par for the course until September.  Friday was a rest day, aside from some yoga.  Yesterday was my second MCM training long run.  10 miles up and back through Rock Creek Park to the zoo.   The first 5 was alright, but again I found that I wasn't hydrated enough.  Shortly after the turn around I knew I'd be in trouble.  I polished off the rest of the liquids I had left with more than 4 miles left to go.  At that point my hips started to ache pretty seriously, so I ended up taking several long walk breaks.  Luckily, I ran into a water stop for a race that was going on in the area and the volunteers graciously gave me a bottle.  I must have looked pretty desperate.  The other bonus was having a partner for the duration of the run.  Another woman from the running group, whose name I cannot recall, stayed with me.  I was very grateful for the company and she said she was grateful for a reason to stop and walk.  We made it back to home base in an embarassingly slow time and the rest of the group was waiting with snacks, water, and high fives all around.

I'm glad that I've got another long run under my belt, regardless of how it went, and next week is another 10 miles.  This time I know the trail, so I have that in my favor.  The challenge will be the middle section because it is the Custis trail up to Stafford Street and back.  A great hill workout but always intimidating.  The runs also move from a 7 am start to a 6 am start so I'll get to see what 4:30 am in VA looks like.  Oy. It is all worth it in the end, right?  Small sacrifices.   The rest of yesterday was spent licking my wounds via breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, a nap at Joe's place, and then seeing Phish at Merriweather Post.  Today is Phish round 2, this time seats near the stage instead of lounging out on the lawn.  I'm not a Phish fan but Joe is and he really wanted to share this experience with me.  I liked some of the songs last night and I'm hoping to hear more that I like tonight.  Either way, it has definitely been an interesting experience.   And tailgating is always fun, wherever you are. :) Anyone else out there into the jam band scene?  What activity or event have you taken an interest in on behalf of a significant other?  Am I going to get to work on time tomorrow morning after rolling in around 1 a.m.?

3TT!

I guess the theme of 3TT today would be "things that are completely obvious." To me, anyways.

1.  99 degrees and 1 billion% humidity means you cannot pay me enough to run outside today.  I'll be at the gym. Yoga at 7 and then the elliptical afterwards.  It doesn't appear as though a break in the weather is coming any time soon either, so my long run on Saturday will be an interesting experience.  I definitely plan on being smarter about hydration than I was last week.  That sucked.

2.  A giant veggie burrito bowl is the most delicious thing in the world in addition to being the reason why those last 5 pounds refuse to go away.  I'll be adding "restraint" onto the long list of things I need to work on in my life.

3.  Job searching is a pain in the butt and a total time suck. Even at the best of times.  Nothing like sending out resumes and cover letters into the great beyond and getting nothing back.  I won't say how long I've been seriously looking but I am starting to get a little discouraged.  I am grateful that I have a job at all, as so many people do not right now.  But I had forgotten how demoralizing the process of finding a job can be.  Perhaps the DC area is particularly competitive, perhaps it is like this everywhere. Just trying to stay positive and hoping something good comes my way soon.  If you know of anything....

Are you planning on beating the heat today?  Do you have a favorite meal that eschews all your regular nutrition restrictions? Do you ever have cause to use the word "eschew" in a sentence? I just did. :)

YES!!

It isn't the biggest deal ever, but I'm really pumped.  I just had a great workout at the gym and I didn't quit when it got hard.  I just kept telling myself "I can I can I can" with every footfall and I did it. 

Mile	Length	Speed
0-1	1 mile	5.8
1.0-2.0	1 mile	6.9
2.0-2.75	.75 mile	5.8
2.75-3.5	.75 mile	6.9
3.5-4.0	.5 mile	5.8
4.0-4.5	.5 mile	6.9
4.5-4.75	.25 mile	5.8
4.75-5.0	.25 mile	6.9

Total time for 5 miles as 47:46.  I will TOTALLY take it.  Cut to blurry celebratory pictures! Deep boo-yah lunge and fist bump!

Thanks to Gourmet Runner for posting the original workout, I tweaked it a little for my slower pace. Do you love my messy hallway?  I do!  I should fire my maid, what a lazy bitch.  Oh wait, that's me. Damn.  Did anyone else have a highlight of their day, workout or other?  Rest day tomorrow, then back at it Thursday.  Have a GREAT night!

Calling all crafty and creative types!

As is the case with most of us runners, the more we continue to run the more we accumulate medals.  I'm not going to lie, I love getting medals.  LOVE IT. What a great and tangible way to appreciate the fruits of your hard work.  It isn't the only reason I run, not by a long shot, but it certainly is a nice motivator. I remember wearing the medal from my first 1/2 for 2 or 3 days straight, I was just so proud of myself for doing what I once thought was impossible.  Now, if you've been following along for the duration of this blog you will have noticed a theme related to my confidence and motivation.  As in, I have none.  While looking for something else on the abyss that is the top of my dresser I cam across several of my medals.  It just didn't seem right that they end up jumbled in a pile with receipts, mismatched earrings, and the like.  It also made me pause for a minute and remember where each one came from and what it felt like to receive it.  I stopped what I was doing and spent the next hour finding every medal I'd earned since I moved to VA and started running.  For the moment they are hanging on a doorknob in plain sight (and the sight of them is helping) but I think they deserve something more permanent. This is where you, my dear friends, come in to the mix.

I really like the idea of getting something like this, especially from a place like Etsy where it will be one of a kind. (I also like her race bib display too!)  I'm not really sure I want a shadow box, they just don't seem as accessible or fun (too formal?) and I don't want to accumulate multiples across my bedroom wall.  However, I have a few medals that don't have ribbons attached to them nor is there a way to attach one.  So the hanging hook option doesn't quite work for those.  Ideally I'd like to have one display that can showcase both types.  I did some basic Google searching and haven't come up with anything yet.  I did email the owner of the above-mentioned Etsy shop to see if she had any ideas.  What do you think of the linked item?  Should I reconsider the shadow box idea?  How do you currently store your medals?  Do you have mad crafting skills or know someone that does and want to help a girl out? Can't wait to hear all your great ideas!

P.S. I read a really inspiring race recap today, and you should read it too! I don't know what it was about her post but it really seemed to shake some of this bad juju off me.  I hope this is just the beginning!  Hitting the gym after work tonight, say a prayer to the treadmill gods for me :)

Monday Monday

Thank you for the words of encouragement after my downer post yesterday, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.  I know that nothing changes overnight and nothing worth doing is easy, so I just need to keep moving forward.  Julia, thanks for the book recommendation, it is one of the books I'm reading right now.  I'm only to the second chapter and agree that it is a little wonky but I'll stick with it to get to the good stuff. I'm just starting to dabble with mantras; I had one that got me through the 1/2 a few weeks ago.  I'd like to have more than one but haven't found others that fit the bill just yet.  If you are okay with it, I'd love to hear what mantras, power words, or other positive self-talk that you fab people use to get through a run.

I went for a run during work today, 4 miles in 36:08.  No pics again, my apologies! Having looked at the evil forecast for the week, today looks like the only day I will be able to run outside.  Le sigh.  I hate the treadmill.  I always go so much slower and it seems to take forever before I finish the first mile, much less any subsequent miles.  I know I should just be grateful that I can run at all, that I have options for inclement weather, etc etc.  At the end of the day, I know how lucky I am.  I get caught up in remembering how easy running used to feel and the joy that I got from doing it.  I haven't felt like that in a while and I miss it.  I just need to figure out how to get back there.  I don't want to dread my runs anymore.  I don't want to spend the entire week in fear of my long runs on Saturday.  I'm counting on marathon training to be an important and positive experience in my life, not something I cry over on a regular basis.  I'm glad I have fellow bloggers out there who've shared similar experiences and came out the other side better for it.

As always, thanks for listening to me ramble on.  I'll snap out of this soon, I promise. I hope your Monday has been a good one.  Are you working out or resting up from the weekend? Anything in particular that you are looking forward to this week?

So it begins

MCM training is officially underway.  I don't have any pictures for you today, I decided not to press my luck any farther trying to run with my phone.  Yesterday morning the alarm went off at 5:30 and it was time to get my butt in gear.  I didn't sleep well the night before, I was too keyed up and I kept waking up to make sure I wasn't over sleeping (despite having set 2 alarms).  I ate my usual pre-run breakfast and headed out the door, giving myself 30 minutes to get lost on the way to the meetup spot.  I got there without incident and there were a few people already waiting.  Everyone was super-friendly and laid back.  I was still really nervous, I had no clue how fast any of them run and I didn't want to be alone.  I'm really self-conscious about my pace, like there is something wrong with it that I should be ashamed of.  We headed out on the course together but spread out pretty quickly.  I was alone for a while, but there were people in front of and behind me so I didn't actually feel alone.  By the midway point I was with an older women who was training with her sister to run her first marathon.  We didn't really chat but just having a body next to me kept me moving.  The one thing I could tell from the beginning was that I was not hydrated enough from the beginning and I wasn't going to have enough fluids to get me through the distance.  Dammit.

My confidence is really low and I know it is going to be my biggest struggle during this experience.  Despite running a 1/2 mary about 3 weeks ago I still didn't believe I could head out and run 8 miles.  I also didn't think I'd be able to run without pushing myself too hard.  I know that the long runs are meant to be run slower than marathon pace but my brain hasn't caught on yet.  All runs have to be as fast as I can make them.  Ugh.  The first 4 were in 42:21 and the second 4 were in 43:10 for a final time of 1:25:31. I was glad to be done but I wasn't exhausted either. My low back and my hips were hurting a fair bit.  I blame my back on the weights I did on Thursday night but my hips have always been a source of trouble for me.  I need to talk to my trainer and see if he can recommend a few exercises to strengthen my hips and my hamstrings.  I don't want another injury.  Next week we do 10 miles, which I shouldn't worry about but I will anyways.  And I'm already fretting about getting in enough runs during the week before next Saturday.  What a hot mess.  I think I've got every running book on the planet on my nightstand right now and none of them seem to be what I'm looking for.  If someone can recommend a book, blog, etc that helps with the mental part of athletic performance I would be grateful.  In a general funk this weekend, so any love you leave me would be most appreciated.

Faux pas Friday

Yep, here we go.  Everyone, all of my precious followers who I love and adore and am so grateful to have, please take a moment and rack your brain. What did you do this week to generally embarrass or make yourself look like a total ass?  Come on now, we all have at least one of these moments a week and we cannot take ourselves too seriously.  Me?  I was at the gym on Wednesday, dragging my butt through 5 miles on the treadmill.  I noticed a lot of things during that time. Endless seconds ticking away on the timer, the little arrow slowly circling the track on the treadmill dashboard, the sounds of people speeding up behind me.  What I did NOT notice was that I was creeping closer and closer to the back of the treadmill, aka the no-no zone.  Apparently your shoes make a special kind of sound once they reach that little space between the treadmill's edge and oblivion. Thank god for that sound, as it sent me flailing forward, arms akimbo, to avoid what I am sure would have been an epic face plant followed by the cancellation of my gym membership.  I have no doubt that I entertained everyone on the row of machines behind me, there was just no way to look cool and recover from that.

So that is my moment for the week, although I suppose there is still time for something to come along and top it.  The weather outside is amazing and I am so tempted to sneak a run in.  I shouldn't, I'm getting up at 5:30 tomorrow for my first MCM training long run and I want to feel as fresh as possible.  But dammit, the temperature is finally tolerable and the breeze doesn't feel like its wafting from a hellmouth. Le sigh.  So I'll wrap up work, go home, do some laundry, watch more Dexter and go to bed.  Company is more than welcome, I'd love someone to talk to besides the kids.  No, seriously. Pleasebemyfriend.

3TT

Welcome to 3TT.  Also day 2 of no work thanks to the heat-related power outage.  That seemingly delightful occurrence brings us to T number one.

1.  Having a routine is crucial to my mental health.  Seriously.  Yesterday's day off work was fine and I kept myself busy, expecting to be back at work again today.  No harm no foul.  Today has been a completely different story.  I had nothing to keep me grounded.  I went back to bed for a few hours, watched tv, roamed the grocery store, and binged.  I felt untethered and pretty lost.  Enter good old friend anxiety. By the time my hour with Rachel rolled around I was in tears. For no reason.  But my mind searched high and low nonetheless and latched onto something.  After I was done for Rachel I cried in my car for a few minutes and then hit the gym.  15 minutes of weights and an hour of yoga. Better than nothing but the best I could do.  I'm actually hoping I have work tomorrow. Who does that?

2.  Food fucks up and fixes almost anything.  I was undone by a giant loaf of French bread and goat cheese earlier today.  And.....half a package of cookies.  I'm putting myself back together with teriyaki onions and tofu on a bed of spinach.  And two beers. Funny how mood can have such an impact on how you feel and perceive the rest of the world around you.  When done properly, food is one of the purest forms of self-care we have available.  Once I finish my plate, watch SYTYCD, and wash a few dishes I plan to get into bed early with a book and put this day to bed.  Tomorrow is another day and, at the behest of Rachel, I'll be seeing how I feel and function with less carbs and sugar in my life.  Probably a fail waiting to happen.

3.  My cats are the best thing in my daily life.  They force me out of my selfish bubble and help me to give of myself in their care.  They snuggle me at night and their furry little faces are the first thing I see in the morning.  They're always waiting for me at the door when I come home, no matter how long I've been gone.  They run around and cry like banshees and make me laugh so damn hard.  Even when they're naughty I still love them to pieces.  When I'm crying they......well they hang close but not too close otherwise I'll hug them to death.  I know I'm the cat lady and I do not care one bit.  I obviously had free time today, so here are a few pictures of the little devils.  If they make you smile, my work is done.   3TT out.

Yesterday's workday was blissfully cut short thanks to the ridiculous heat.  The power grid that my office building is on totally failed, so we got sent home rather than slowly suffocating in our cubicles.  Huzzah!  This morning I actually forgot that it might not have been fixed yet, so I was on the bus before I decided to text my co-worker to see what was up.  She had gotten to the office ahead of me and found that it was indeed closed!  So I hopped off the bus, got back on another bus, and headed straight to Starbucks.  Coffee in hand I went home and plotted out this unexpected day off.  I'm actually being productive-ish.  I did a load of laundry and just got home from the gym.  5 miles on the treadmill in 51:21 and then 10 miles on the bike.  Here is the aftermath, I know you're just dying to see my hot sweaty body!

Back home, time for lunch (I'm starving!) and who knows what else.  I ran out of detergent so I can't do any more laundry. Darn.  Guess I'll just have to stream Netflix through the Wii and bask in the AC until its time to head over to Joe's for the night.  Not thrilled to have lost a day of work in an already short week, but there is no way I could have gotten in that long a workout otherwise so I'll take it.  All I need to make this day complete is a pool to read next to for the rest of the afternoon, but a girl can dream.  Hope your Wednesday is going well!  What are you looking forward to later this week?  Any good workout plans?  What are the odds on me going to work tomorrow?