Monday, June 20, 2011

When in doubt, just show up.  That was my goal by the end of today.  I wasn't doing a very good job at being present today, no matter what I was doing.  Work, conference, meeting a friend, etc.  I just wasn't there and it showed.  As the day went on that disconnect was getting worse and I knew I had to get home.  Just being in my own space can help.  During the commute I fretted about whether I would run.  After missing this weekend's long run plans twice I was starting to freak out a little.  I went back and forth with myself about how missing a few days wasn't the worst thing in the world, that bagging a workout is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself.  But there was another part of me that said I should try out some of that advice I keep seeing in all my reading.  Just get out the door.  Just try it for 5 minutes.  If it still sucks, you tried. Bag it and try again tomorrow.  If it doesn't suck, see how far it can take you.  In the end, that new voice won me over.  I dropped my bag in the hallway, changed my clothes and went right back out the front door.  I didn't turn on the watch because the time wasn't going to matter.  I didn't want that kind of pressure, small as it was.  Heck, I didn't know how far I was going anyways, or even what direction.  I just headed for the main drag and went.  3.1 miles later I was home again, sweaty and a little less in a funk.  If it weren't for keeping daily mile updated, I wouldn't have checked the distance out either.  I just needed to be out there with my breath and my footfalls, halting and lumbering as they might be.
A quick dinner of goat cheese ravioli in my belly, I headed for one of my favorite spots, the tub.  I need to be up bright and early tomorrow, at the Hill by 7:45, so bedtime was fast approaching.  I grabbed the two things one needs to make a bath most enjoyable:
Wine and books.  You'll notice the streak of running-themed reads continues.  I'm almost through the Women's Running book and loving it.  It reminds me of Kara's book quite a bit, but in a really great way.  I love the material and I like that one seems to reinforce the great thoughts of the other without making either seem repetitive or stale.  Running on Empty is next, and I confess to already reading the first chapter *sob*.  If it continues to be as emotional as I've been told, I'm going to be investing in tissues.  Wine glass in hand, I'm now blogging from bed at 9:15, lights out any minute now.  Thanks to everyone who commented yesterday, I really appreciated it.  Just knowing someone out there is thinking of you and pulling for you can make a huge difference.  Here's to tomorrow being a new day, a fresh start, and another chance to show up.  G'night, friends.

1 comment:

  1. Loving the new attitude. I am glad you got the run in and were able to enjoy it.

    Enjoy the reads and the wine. You totally deserve it. Have a fabulous day!